Yes, the time has arrived! To celebrate the date I was supposed to be born, all my m/m romance stories on Amazon are free for today only! Just click the button below to be taken to my author page.
I was a 10-month baby. Apparently I was so comfortable I just didn't want to be born, and because I was so small the doctors refused to believe that it was 10 months. Yes, they apologised after the fact, when I was delivered with lots of hair, fingernails so long they had to be immediately trimmed and zero amniotic fluid left.
One weird side effect of this is I have no idea what star sign I should be considered. I mean, I was supposed to be born in July. I was just... well, lazy. What am I? Cancer? Leo? Who even knows any more? I'm the soggiest fire sign ever, that's for sure.
So to celebrate this most unceremonious of events, you get the bonus* of two sales: one on my actual birthday of the 15th of August, and my unBirthday on the 15th July! You can pick up all my books on Amazon for free on both these dates and help me celebrate the day I should have been born as well as the time I (eventually) was.
See you on the 15th!
* You may disagree with that choice of words.
I'm running a promo running Friday to Monday inclusive and making everything on Amazon free for the long Easter weekend. Because it's Easter, so why not?
Hit the button beneath to be taken, by the power of magic and some nifty coding, to your local Amazon store.
Even if it's just that privacy laws are fucked if you live in the UK.
I can legally shield my address in my domain name details for obvious privacy purposes — no one, particularly no LGBT person, wants a disgruntled or angry person turning up at their door.
But if you set up a mailing list, as authors are encouraged to do, then you're forced to send your home address to every single person who receives an email from you. Just so you can tell them exactly where to find you if they don't like you or your writing and they're a trifle unhinged.
"But what about a PO Box? People use those!"
Yeah, rich people use PO Boxes. Current prices are £29.40 a month, £152.40 for 6 months, or £267.00 for a year. And that's for the privilege of travelling 30-45 minutes on the bus to pick up any mail myself: they're only at sorting offices. If I want it forwarded on to me, you guessed it, that's more money.
Worth it for someone who sells maybe one book a month? Nope.
So, no mailing list. It's just not worth it for the massive risk it poses.
There's something irritating about the way when you upload the file to Amazon, it says "no spelling erors."
Because it didn't notice Sigil had somehow lost half the damn opening speech marks, did it??
So I've just had to correct that and re-upload the file, and now I have to check the others too.
I'd love to know what happened there. I just hope it doesn't happen again.
So, as ever, you can get free books. Not quite in the same way, but if you look over here...
(And there might be something hanging around on the Modern Fantasy page, but don't get your hopes up too much.)
Not only did I lose the PSD file for the cover, and the original textures, and the font...
I also managed to lose the entire book. I'd done a brief, brief edit on it a few months ago and mashed some of the chapters together and decided I hated the sight of it again.
That's the one I lost. Luckily I'd been procrastinating and used Scrivener to turn it into an EPUB (note to self: don't do that again; Scrivener sticks an unbelievable amount of crap into the code) so I managed to find that at least, cleaned out the mess, added in the new cover (and new title, which is predictably awful), remade it and re-converted it into MOBI.
This post is acronym hell.
ANYWAY. So that's everything uploaded, I think. Just in time for #BuyNothingDay, which is apparently a thing now. So there you go. A whole bunch of awful gay romance novels for free, what more could you want?
Well, quite a lot, actually...
For future reference, self: the font is Gentium Basic.
The cover itself is fucking cursed and you're better off not writing about it further in case Chrome crashes again and you lose all your writing again.
Way, way back in the dim recesses of ... 2014, was it? When I stupidly thought writing was a great thing to try to sell, anyway ... I started out by releasing a book free on Cyber Monday. I figured that everyone spends so much money on these big-sale days like Black Friday and Cyber Monday that people deserved a little freebie now and then.
And of course it was a roaring success! Oh, wait, no, that wasn't me. Nah, it was a dismal failure, I think it was downloaded maybe 8 times and no one said a word about it even after they downloaded it. 'Cause people only download stuff 'cause it's free, not because they actually want it.
I know I'm guilty of it.
Well I tried it the next year too, and got maybe 10 downloads and total silence.
Annnnnd 2016 was shit in many, many ways and did a fantastic job of exacerbating the rampaging depression, and I don't remember much of 2017 other than it was a bit like 2018, but older.
So I figured that this year maybe I'll do it again. I don't know why. Apparently I'm a fucking glutton for punishment, who knows. But basically everything that's even moderately finished is now free for a bit, even all the shit that's totally unedited. (Me, procrastinating NaNoWriMo? Never.) It might even get me off my arse enough to finish a couple of the other semi-unfinished things, since NNWM is going so spectacularly well this year that I'm writing two stories at once. What's a couple more to the list?
(That said I've been wanting to finish writing about Maddeson for a while, because he's irritating me now.)
Let's marvel at the futility of both the season and this, eh?
I know I said no book talk here, but something's been bugging me for weeks now and I'm lacking anywhere else to have a little rant. Here'll do.
Lately (certain) indie authors have been throwing their hands up and running around going "Britain is leaving the EU! This means doom for UK book selling!" And I'm just sitting here scratching my head and wondering where the fuck they've been for the last four years and why they failed to notice the damage the EU has actually done to indie publishers?
Did the entirety of 2015 pass them by, when the EU insisted that digital products — books included — had to suddenly abide by an esoteric and complicated new VAT structure that included raising the VAT rate on digital books from 3% to 20% (since many large companies are based in Luxembourg, which meant passing on the tax saving to the buyer)? Or the way it screwed over indie book markets who now have to calculate VAT based not in their home country, but on the country of the consumer?
Presumably they didn't have to sit down and go through the process of working out whether or not they needed to raise their prices to offset the fact VAT was no longer added on top of a book's list price but was suddenly taken out from their earnings instead.*
No wonder people flocked to Amazon, who did it all for them; if you had your own small storefront, but didn't earn enough in the UK to be VAT registered, guess what? It didn't fucking matter.
Oh, and, just for added shits and giggles:
HO THERE FINE CUSTOMER BUYING MY BOOK FROM MY WEBSITE, ARE YOU A SMALL BUSINESS?
Of course now people are falling over themselves to say, "but, but, but ... the EU says people can reduce the VAT rate of ebooks to match printed ones! If we leave the EU we won't be able to do it!"
Uh, says who? And this is the same EU who, in 2014 when Malta and Italy did exactly that, decided it was illegal and threatened to prosecute them.
Oh no. What will the UK book market ever do without the EU?
Maybe, possibly, become more fucking stable, that's what.
* Not, in the end, something I needed to bother with for many reasons, including the fact I can't write for shit and no one enjoyed reading it anyway.
Asexual, aromantic, and transmasc non-binary. No, I have no idea how I ended up writing romance either.